So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
