on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
