Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
