She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
