I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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