I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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