Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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