that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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