am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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