Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
