If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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