I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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