if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
