I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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