don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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