Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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