Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
