wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
