Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
