I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
