Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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