i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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