Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
