You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
