If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
