If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
