I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
