i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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