my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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