This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
