Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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