how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
