I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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