carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
