I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
