He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
