New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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