Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
