I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
