My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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