Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
