i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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