What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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