I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
