And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Still dying that you shit outside
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
