i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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