Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
