Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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