she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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