You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
